It may not seem like it to him, but I have found that brides who are particularly close to their father worry about him and his feeling as the entire family gets involved in wedding planning. He may feel left out or uncomfortable or just plain bewildered by all of the “craziness” going on around him. TriniWeddings often counsels brides who ask about the father’s role.

While many may see him as the walking, breathing checkbook for this event, his role is really more important. His most important job is to be supportive of the bride’s decisions in most areas. Certainly family discussions will take place, but once a decision is made, Dad’s support is invaluable. He may be at the point where he feels that he is losing his little girl, but his support is priceless to her.

His official duties as father of the bride include riding to the ceremony with the bride (where appropriate). He escorts the bride down the aisle on his right arm, and then joins his wife in the front pew (unless other arrangements take precedence. I once had a bride who hated the suit her dad was wearing, she felt it did not complement the dress she was wearing and did not want him escorting her down the aisle “in that suit”. She found it was old fashioned and he had spent a small fortune on it and he loved it. TriniWeddings had to mediate and it was resolved amicably.

As the official host of the reception, he mingles with the guests. He may or may not stand in the receiving line if there is one. That is really his call and he should not be forced to do this. Some dads like it and others do not.

He generally keeps an eye on the bar and champagne supply and makes a short toast at the reception.

Traditionally, he has a short dance with the bride after she dances first with the groom.

Finally, he is the last person to leave the reception and say goodbye to the guests.

He may still pay the majority of the wedding costs and sign the bill for the reception, but in today’s weddings, many costs are shared.

His presence provides a sense of continuity to the event and his love and support for his daughter is a comfort to all.