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Invitation Etiquette
23 Sep, 2011

We at Triniweddings have invitation specialists to help brides choose the wedding invitations which set the tone for the wedding. It is an early indicator for the guests as to the type of celebration to which they are invited. We are knowledgeable about the various paper styles, font types and wording variations that brides are seeking. We are also asked about the appropriateness of certain wording choices. We know that more and more brides are making selections that blend the historically formal with the contemporary feel of today’s preferences. However the rule of good taste does still have punch and invitation specialists are being asked if it is ok to ask for gifts of money on the wedding invitation. The answer is a clear and consistent NO!

There is no socially acceptable or tactful way to include in an invitation the fact that the couple would prefer cash in place of gifts.

The situation is more likely to occur with a couple in their late 20s or early 30s who have been living together for some time prior to the wedding. They tend to have all household necessities and are not inclined to establish a traditional gift registry. They may be planning to buy a house and would prefer cash gifts. This is a worthy preference but the invitation is not the place to spread the word. For that they need to rely on word of mouth. the couple needs to tell their parents, friends, and members of the wedding that when asked about gift preferences, cash is the couple’s preference. But as Emily post reminds us, “there is no dictating to guests what they must give; it’s their prerogative to choose.

As wedding specialists, we recommend that if you are asked directly what you want for a wedding gift, be polite and say, “We’re saving for a down payment on a house, so if you’d like to give a cheque, that’s how we would use it. But whatever you decide will be appreciated. Thank you for asking”.

Not everyone is comfortable giving cash. Some people prefer a tangible gift and because there are guests with this preference, we suggest that brides also set up a traditional gift registry to accommodate these guests.


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My dearest Marilyn, it would be remiss of me to not thank you immensely for the exquisite atmosphere you ensured took place. One guest said "the event was simply opulent"! That was only possible because you were significant in pulling the whole celebration together. Thank you very very much Marilyn.


Warm regards,


Edweena Dottin
 

 
 
 
 
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