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What every bride should know about her Mother’s role
09 Nov, 2012

The mother of the bride has a very special place in the wedding planning process. This special role is there whether or not your mother chooses to accept it. For some mothers it is a Herculean task while others embrace it as the role of a lifetime. But what is important in all of this, is that she is included.

With families frequently separated by miles, jobs, schools or divorce, parental roles have changed. What has not changed is the importance of including your mother in the planning process wherever possible. Occasionally I have met mothers who feel left out of the plans.

It is always great for you to involve your groom in the plans but not to the exclusion of your mother. Your mother can make wonderful suggestions – so solicit her opinions and advice. Chances are that she is experienced in dealing with things like receptions, parties, caterers and florists.

The person who should accompany you when you are selecting your wedding gown should be your mother. Today’s tendency to bring the entire wedding party and solicit each of their opinions on THE GOWN generally is not a productive event. Your mother knows you, your tastes and your dreams. After all, she has known you for all your life.She is also a good resource for choosing wedding accessories and gifts for your attendants. She is the perfect person to take charge of the master guest list. She can eliminate duplicates, help make decisions on the final list and gather the addresses.

Seek advice on, or let her plan the seating arrangements for the reception. She’ll be the one who knows who should sit with whom and who shouldn’t be at the same table.

Among all your friends, she’ll be the best at helping you put things in perspective when you feel overwhelmed by it all. That’s what moms do!However, there may be times when you are inclined to feel that she wants to take over and force you to accept her opinions and advice, but this is the perfect time for you to enter another level of bonding and let her know that it is your big day and your views count too.

I have had to do quite a bit of conflict resolution between brides and their mothers. Some mothers are of the view that because they are financing the wedding, their wants should override the bride’s. A few brides who have opted for DIY weddings have come to Triniweddings for a consultation, just to sort out wedding planning conflicts. So when and if things seem to ever be getting out of hand with mom, a Wedding Consultant may be your best bet!

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  Dear Marilyn,

Just a short note to express my immense gratitude for doing such a fantastic job in co-ordinating Tonya and Kareem's wedding. You took an extremely heavy weigh off my shoulders.

It has been a pleasure dealing with you. I know that you had a very busy day and that you must have been exhausted at the end of it. Again many thanks for everything. We could not have asked for a more dedicated co-ordinator.

Fondest regards,

Sharon Rowley
20th July, 2013
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