When selecting items for one’s paper trousseau,  brides should remember to order reply cards and envelopes. These have become “essentials” when attempting to calculate the number of guests to expect at the reception.Even though they are sent with the invitation package, there will always be a number of guests who never bother to reply. Your choice is to go with some industry average that calculates that up to 10% of invited guests won’t attend and won’t let you know they aren’t coming. Plan accordingly therefore and contact those “silent” guests directly and ask if they are planning to attend.

Some brides elect to make the calls themselves, others involve their mothers and the groom's mother to contact the guests who have not replied. As Martha Stewart says, “Once the R.S.V.P. deadline printed on the reply card has come and gone, you are well within bounds to start reaching out to tardy invitees.” When you do call, keep the message short and sweet. Martha suggests these words: “I wanted to be sure you got our wedding invitation. I need to get the final numbers to my caterer this week, and we’d love to know whether we’ll be seeing you there.”

We know that some brides-to-be are considering a “B-list” of invited guests. We don’t condonthat practice but are well aware that it happens. If you are planning to use this approach, we offer these considerations: Most people will figure out they are “second-tier” guests when the invitation comes to them two weeks before the wedding date. If you are determined to use a second round of invitations, at least be strategic about it. Send your first round of invitations out up to 10 weeks in advance and set the R.S.V.P. to at least 5 weeks before the wedding date. Once regrets start coming in, you can still get a few invitations out to names on the B-List if you are determined to do so.

For more ideas phone (868) 628- 9333 or email  mwilt@triniweddings.com